weareallgoingtodie.com

That’s right, the finale of Lost, I was one of the millions of sheeple that watched it.

It sucked.

In the end, Jack’s dad, Christian Shepard (duh!) tells him, “Everyone dies some time, kiddo.”

Well, if that isn’t about the same thing as saying “We are all going to die (dot com)” I don’t know what is.

So this show is bascially a testament to poor planning.  They were riffing the whole time, the writing started off great, very inspried in season one, and then went steadily downhill.  I can see them saying, “you know what would be cool… blah blah blah” and everyone in the room waggling their heads and panting in agreement – probably thinking, “this is going to look great on my C.V.”

There was zero, I shudder to write, management of the writing process.  Was there no outline for this show?  No rough drafts?  Who were these terrible writers?

Oh, and guess what, they were dead the whole time.

Double duh.

I hearby change the name of the show from “Lost” to “Lost Time”.

Even though Proust will roll, slowly, in his grave.

Shame on you Hollywood!  Shame!

[End of message]

There is something incredibly annoying about lilly-white Americans who move to Hawaii and start saying “aloha” all the time.

It’s a [expletive deleted] nuisance.

It’s as pretentious as if I were to move to Morocco and start signing my emails in tamazight.

You see, I’m not Berber or Tuareg.

Or, if I moved to New Zealand and started every email I ever wrote with “Kia Ora”.

It’s not like using native terms is encouraging solidarity with the indigenous people of the land I’ve colonized.  No, it is the Disneyfication of the experience.  Like thinking you’ve had French food because you’ve eaten at Paris in Epcot.

But people in Hawaii think it is ok, to say Aloha.

Why?

One simple reason, they are in Hawaii.

If they were in Siberia they wouldn’t make it a habit to sign all their emails in a remote language that doesn’t make people slightly envious.

We GET IT.  You are in Hawaii, now stop gloating. You pompous shit.  You are sitting in front of a computer writing an email, not out enjoying the awesome life in Hawaii.  You are probably eating a donut, and you area going to die.

Now stop acting like you are the only devil-may-care American who has “gone savage”.   You aren’t Gauguin.  Or maybe you are 1/32 Cherokee and need to tell people about that, as well.

I would love to live in Hawaii and I plan on it someday.  But I swear to the entire Internet I will never write Aloha in an email.  It is a slap in the face to anyone with Hawaiian blood.

Haoles saying aloha is wrong.

Is Swine Flu the new African “Plane Crash” assassination?
After killing the Ecuadorian chief of security, and jumping on the President of Colombia, the flu seems to be attacking the heads of regimes that are not entirely toeing the line with America.

Conspiracy?
Maybe.

Maybe the disease only attacks people who are traveling and wealthy and thus it might level the playing field by killing oligarchs. I mean it is flu season in South America. Brazil has now passed the US in the number of deaths from the flu.

That said, this is just a random headline from the web: “ECUADOR: Manta Air Base Tied to Colombian Raid on FARC Camp”

And here is another one:

“Ecuador to Evict U.S., Offer Air Base to China

When the US Air Force Southern Command’s 10-year usage rights for Ecuador’s Manta air base expire in 2009, it can expect to be evicted.”

Um, so there is an interest in the region, Ecuador has oil. Colombia has cocaine, which makes laundering CIA money very easy.  And Jesus we can’t let China get their talons in anymore oil-rich countries, they already have the Sudan.

I’m not crazy, and I’m not wearing a tinfoil hat, but I’m just saying, maybe we don’t know everything.

My prediction, perhaps more important people will get the disease and be killed by it.
Maybe more so if there is a US interest in their region.
But I’m a f$%king cynic.

I heard this quote from Raising Arizon:

Evelle: H.I., you’re young and you got your health, what you want with a job?

Way back in the dark ages, during the heady days of the Internet bubble, I had an phone interview, with The Motley Fool.  The guy interviewing me asked me the hexidecimal value for red to test whether I know HTML, WTFF0000?!?  I answered, correctly and I was on a terrible cell phone and the call was dropped.  He called me back and said in a weird jokey voice, something like “I knew you hadn’t hung up on me on purpose, that would have been a huge mistake. Haha”.  That was the tip-off that all this bullshit about being a “fool” and how it was supposed to be ironic, was actually true.  These people were retards.  Just to confirm my suspicions the interviewer continued on a path where he seemed compelled to tell me about how this was the best company in the world, and that it was a lifestyle and in Old Town and blah blah blah. But I kept thinking, I don’t like this guy, and don’t want him to be my boss. I wound up saying exactly that.

And here we are 12 years later and the company …. still sucks.

Haha!

Here is the proof.  I am shorting BIDU today, and there was a headline next to the stock that read: The One Stock You Must Buy. Now I knew this was bullshit, but I like to click on bullshit links.

Here is  quote from the article, I’ll put the text in red, to prove that I can:

Here, however, is a litmus test to gauge every stock tip you come across. Simply ask: Does this company bear any resemblance at all to Apple, Amazon, eBay, or Baidu before they were big names?

Uh, that’s stupid.

The article continues to put this list, not once, but twice in the article:

1. Small.
2. Led by a dedicated founder(s).
3. Fiscally conservative.
4. Profiting from a wide market opportunity.

So where is “The One Stock You Must Buy”?

If you’d like to take a look at the companies we’ve found that meet the four criteria mentioned, click here to join Hidden Gems free for 30 days.

Right…..

That is not only stupid, that is fucking stupid.
It is exactly the same type of bait-and-switch bullshit that I look for in my financial advice.
Give us your credit card number and I’ll tell you the secret to getting rich.

I stand by my decision to tell the hiring guy from The Fool to “Fuck off”. I think time has proven who made the right choice. From an ethical standpoint, I am happy to not work for a company that cons people into subscription services for crappy returns.

The wikipedia article on them is pretty interesting, the Motley Fool has become a electronic boiler room touting overpriced stocks for subpar returns.

This is from the WSJ, “As if Things Weren’t Bad Enough, Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S.”, this is a good one.  It’s not a new article, but we are getting closer to the due date and the guy has not changed his tune. So maybe we are in for some interesting times.  The guy actually has a modicum of credibility, as well.

This breakup of the United States would not be The End Of The World tm, but it also wouldn’t be very comfortable and people would die.  This is another great reason to panic and run screaming out of the house, after of course you sell all your stock and max out your credit cars.

Be sure to stock up on whiskey and ammunition.  Jack Daniels and .45 rounds will be the new currency.

Panic!

Ok, this site went off on a tangent for a while, and now I’m going to bring it back.

We are all going to die.

It’s true.

So, there is Swine Flu that is being blown way out of proportion sending sales of Tamiflu and Roche’s shares higher.

Now a comet or some other heavenly body has smacked into Jupiter making an earth sized hole in the planet.

This is my favorite headline:

Jupiter Hit by Cosmic Object — Is Earth Next?

Ok, this is a great example of the media selling fear.  If Earth gets hit by a comet, we won’t know about it, because we will be vaporized.  So – who gives a crap?

The most important thing is to panic and run screaming out of the house, but only during commercials.  You need to come back after this word from our sponsors so that more fear will keep you watching the news and keep our ad revenue from falling off a cliff.  Now that is something to panic about.

Google has said they they have given address book sync to mac users to their gmail accounts.  I did the upgrade and I don’t have this, what’s the deal?

I hate to say this, but some Spammers are very talented.

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Read ‘it and weep….