Did Jesus tap?

Written by admin on October 13, 2014 – 10:48 am -

Just saw a guy with a “Jesus didn’t tap” t-shirt.

Really?

according to the King James Version of the bible, while on the sticks this happened:

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

According to CBJJ rules, if unable to tap, a verbal submission is sufficient.

He couldn’t tap with those nails in his hands.

 

 

 


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Scary!!!!

Written by admin on September 5, 2014 – 8:04 am -

Liberally borrowed from:

 

http://wkoplitz.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-end-is-nigh.html

 

Yesterday I went to my office and there were no hoteling spaces so I had to sit in the lounge, which is kind of like the business class United airport lounge.  There is a TV that plays CNN. Comfy chairs. Beverages.
The news, since I don’t watch TV or pay attention to it — was really terrifying!
It seems like black teenagers, with their hands raised (apparently the most dangerous kind) are joining ISIS (The “Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham” and they are cutting people’s heads off. Meanwhile, Ebola is making people into zombies in Africa, if you are a young girl in Nigeria you may get kidnapped. Ebola – ISIS – Michael Brown, rinse, repeat if desired.
Then Joan Rivers died.
Stop the presses!
Forget about those people in Africa and the middle east, this is a celebrity who died during elective outpatient surgery.
Sanjay Gupta, whose name I just can’t stop saying out loud: “Sanjay Gupta”.  It is like poetry.  Like the name “Médecins Sans Frontières”.
It sounds so good. … well, he was skeptical as to the wisdom of having her surgery be outpatient.
So.. black teenagers joining ISIS are getting Ebola making them into zombies and they have killed Joan Rivers.
If this were clue,  I would say Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick.
But this is Reality®, so my guess would have to be.
Mujahid / Black Teenager with Ebola around every corner with an Suicide Vest.
I should not watch the news. I realized this and listened to music.

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Yoga pants

Written by admin on March 23, 2014 – 6:11 pm -

To protest the yoga pants pandemic, I encourage all men to wear them.  When women can glean, prima facie, what religion we may be, they will ban those distracting garments in NYC minute.


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Watching the Watchers

Written by admin on March 4, 2014 – 1:12 pm -

It would be interesting to publish a list of words that were flagged, and then publish the information about the spiders that came to the page to collect information.

I bet you could start with really polemic terms like “free speech” or “liberty”.


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Online Dating

Written by admin on November 24, 2013 – 8:40 pm -

Ok, so I joined an online dating psyte.

Yes, spelled psyte because the “site” is filled with “psychos”. How is that for cute neologism?

There are a few things I’ve noticed and decided to translate if you ever find yourself looking for a mate on a dating site.

  1. Women love their dogs. Sooo many pictures of dogs.  (Translation: I’m not sure, but I think it means “I am safe around small animals”)
  2. If there are multiple women in the same photo, it’s the fat one that is on the site. (Translation: “Pay no attention to the fat one until you contact me”)
  3. There are a lot of fake profiles, gorgeous Ukrainian women with nothing of substance in their profile.  (Translation: “I like kids, and money, I mean dogs”)
  4. Women wear sports wear of sporting teams. (Translation: “it’s cool, we can go to another sporting event, I can hang with the guys” they would have a better shot.
  5. Alcohol is rampant (Translation “I can party”).
  6. Machu Picchu (Translation: “I am an adventurous traveller” perhaps with a little bit of “Dude, you are going to need cash”)
  7. Women shooting guns (Translation: I have no idea.)
  8. Wearing masks (Translation: “I’m zany, but also possibly not very attractive”)

 


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Crab Waffle

Written by admin on August 18, 2013 – 10:25 pm -

Today I ate a crab cake in a waffle cone.


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“Don’t hire this guy!”

Written by admin on August 18, 2013 – 10:25 pm -

I think that is the new title of my resume.
“Don’t hire this guy!”
In huge font, bold, where my name should go.
Then underneath it I will write: “What if I do a really good job? At first people will applaud you for your vision, then you may start to worry that I will replace you. That would suck, throw this resume in the trash”.


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How do I stop this pain?

Written by admin on August 18, 2013 – 12:26 pm -

It is not physical. It is emotional, and dare I say spiritual.
But how do I stop this pain?

Getting divorce sucks and it sucks badly.
Sometimes I want someone to pick me up and say, “there there”.
Other times I want to I smash things.

I am better at smashing things.


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Uranium in Mali

Written by admin on January 25, 2013 – 2:26 pm -

I’ve been reading a lot about Uranium in Mali and the reasons for the French interest.
Can anyone say Nogent-sur-Seine?


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iPoor

Written by admin on January 10, 2013 – 5:46 pm -

If they make a poor version of the iPhone it will be the kiss of death for the company.
Look at what would have happened if Burberry cheapened their brand.
They didn’t lower their prices, just their class of customer and it smashed them to bits.
This is a controlled demolition of the company.
Look out below!


Posted in Apple, Money, Nerdery, Random Stupidity | No Comments »

2.8.3